Wednesday, September 21, 2005

But How Do Ninjas Fit In?

I've often thought it would be nice to have a set of religious beliefs, as thinking for myself is often tiring. But I just haven't yet found a religion with the right set of beliefs -- again with the thinking for myself. In high school, I told my friends my religion was Julieism, but I don't even know what that means anymore.

I've recently discovered (pamphletlessly) a new religion called FSM, or Flying Spaghetti Monsterism.

FSM seems like a very male-oriented religion -- stripper factory? -- but what else is new.

Prophet Bobby Henderson (via Atrios)
Believers of the FSM are normal people, living normal lives. Certain rituals must be followed, however, most of them having to do with pasta and/or pirates. Random acts of piratical expression are encouraged. Flipping off a stranger, for example, would not only be hilarious, but would also go a long way in pleasing Him, bringing you that much closer to FSM heaven, which, among other attractions, features a Beer Volcano.

I've never been an adherent to strict dogma, though aspects of the religion are very appealing
  • Flimsy moral standards.
  • Every friday is a relgious holiday. If your work/school objects to that, demand your religious beliefs are respected and threaten to call the ACLU.

And of course I support all the pasta and sauce, as long as there's a Sausage Sect.

But I am conflicted, because I can't reconcile the fact that Ninjas are awesome, have Real Ultimate Power, and yet hate pirates and wail on them at every opportunity.

What is FSM's stance on Ninjas? Are Ninjas agents of the Anti-FSM, seeking to bring about an Apocalyptic Flip-Out with their six foot boners? Or are they unwitting dupes who do things for no reason without thinking twice?

Religion is hard.

Update: I wrote a letter to the prophet
Dear Prophet Bobby,

I like this new religion, but I am having trouble reconciling it with my belief that Ninjas are awesome. I don't know if you are aware that Ninjas wail on pirates all the time, and are mainly responsible for the decline in their numbers. Are Ninjas agents of the Anti-FSM (is there an Anti-FSM?) or do you think Ninjas just do things for no reason without thinking twice about it because of their six foot boners?

Sincerely,
Julie O.

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