Monday, January 23, 2006

Personal Update

Yesterday was my son's 6th birthday, a celebration that lasted two days, since my in-laws came down Saturday instead of Sunday so they wouldn't miss the Broncos game (sigh, no Super Bowl).

We're going to begin the search to buy a house, since we now know we want to stay in this area. My father-in-law offered to help us financially to get into a really nice house, but he had some strings attached, one of which was to get active in some sort of church. When I joked about joining the Church of Satan, since that is a church, he backed off and suggested we get involved in some sort of social activities, particularly activities that each of us can do alone, to have some "away time" from each other. The suggestions annoyed me at first, enraged me later, but now I've cooled off.

I think he's worried that we don't get out and socialize very much, and the effects that might have on our children. What he doesn't seem to understand is that our children are extroverts who love to get out, involve themselves in activities and socialize (in fact, my son is very excited to start a new "youth activity" tonight). My husband and I are introverts, and getting involved in social activities causes us a great deal of stress and dread. What may be beneficial to most people would actually be detrimental to us, especially since we tend to snap at each other when we get stressed and filled with dread. (Okay, I'm the one who snaps first).

We would like to have friends, those people who we click with naturally, but we've always found them in the normal course of our lives. Spending time searching out such relationships would be tedious and frustrating, and the few times I've tried ("mother's" groups, for instance) have been horribly uncomfortable and disappointing.

And maybe we're an unusual couple in my father-in-law's experience, because we truly enjoy being with each other nearly all the time. And when we get tired of each other, one or the other of us will give the stressed person a break. One of us gets alone time while the other watches the boys. In fact, we don't think we spend enough time with each other as it is.

I'm also going to look for some sort of job that will give us extra money that won't be negated by daycare expenses. That severely limits my options, since my husband's schedule during the week is often very fluid, which basically leaves me about 4 hours on Saturday and 4 on Sunday for work. There's one prospect that is promising, though, and it shouldn't crimp my blogging anymore than usual life does.

At any rate, we're turning down my father-in-law's offer, as tempting as the cash may be. He's very generous and caring about us, but these strings go way too far into control over our very happy and contented personal lives.

Progressive Women's Blog Ring
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