Ladies and Gentlemen, Your House of Representatives
Zoot suit, poodle skirt, microwave oven ... close enough.
"Could you picture Davy Crockett at the Alamo looking at his Blackberry getting a message from Congress? 'Davy Crockett, we support you. The only thing is we are not going to send any troops.' I'm sure that would really be impressive to Davy Crockett."
Things Abraham Lincoln never said:
"Put your poo box away."
"Congressmen who willfully take action during wartime that damage morale and undermine the military are saboteurs, and should be arrested, exiled or hanged."
"Well, I'm off to the theater. I certainly hope I have good seats and I don't get shot in the back of the head by John Wilkes Boothe."