Tuesday, April 17, 2007

What Would You Do, Hot Shot?!

If someone were firing a .22 at John Derbyshire he wouldn't even be able to count the number of turds piling up in his drawers.

From the fingers of our hero, bravely typing away in dramatic slow motion, on what to do when confronted with a maniacal killer with two guns:

... count the shots and jump him reloading or changing hands.

Now that's a strategy for victory. I think we found our War Czar!

What our children really need are classes called "What Would You Do, Hot Shot" in which various deadly scenarios are proposed and acted out so that our citizens will be prepared in the event of a crisis. Here're some thought exercizes:

You pull your gun, of course, shoot the guy and you're a HERO! Yay

Second scenario: There you are when you hear gunshots. You pull your gun and turn to look for a target. Wait! There are two guys with guns and they seem to be shooting at each other! Whom do you shoot?

Third scenario: You turn, gun in hand, looking for a target and there are five people, men, women, black, white, hispanic, all shooting at or towards each other. It's a fire fight! Whom do you shoot?

Fourth scenario: Some other guy is drawing a bead on some guy with a gun and that guy happens to be YOU because he doesn't know who the bad guy is either. Who gets shot?

Who, hot shot!?

The obvious answer is to shoot everybody in the leg, like Arnold Schwarzenegger did in T-2. Watch out, Glenn, you've got some competition.

(h/t Big Ink)


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